My blood bleeds indecisiveness.
It’s a terrible thing to have. Don’t leave me as the one in charge of decision making or else I’ll crumble, get flustered, and then put it on someone else.
Despite setting a goal this year and writing it daily (“I am confident and satisfied with my decisions every day”), obviously, there’s some hesitation in changing this habit because I’ve had a bit of indecisiveness over one thing, in particular, this week: the blog switch.
If you talked to me on Tuesday (aka the day after I launched the new site), I was having anxiety and panic attacks. My mind was going a mile a minute wondering what the heck I did. Moving forward, the indecisiveness was still there, but then my thoughts then started jumping between: ‘it’s ok’ to ‘switch it back’ to ‘start with something new altogether!’ Naturally, I still don’t know where I stand.
That’s where you come in… I need your help.
The more I started thinking about things, the more I wonder, did my old blog actually fit me better? I mean, I am more food-focused (but so still love fitness and running), so why the heck did I even want to switch in the first place?! Was it just a blog facelift I needed (like a legit good one) and then I would have been fine (because I really am obsessed with this font that I have right now–and that was enough for a switch?)? Or, did I truly need this change? I battled with that in-between panic attacks on Tuesday and ultimately came to no clear decision. Are you surprised?
So, can you help?
Tyler told me that if I do decide to just go back to the old blog that I should just say, fake out! which would have been nice if I wasn’t typing up this post. But I’m honestly fine putting my indecisiveness out there. It’s what keeps me real and allows me to hear more about what you think instead of battling the demons internally.
I think my biggest anxiety comes from: Is this where I want to be in 5 years from now/will it match what I want to be doing? I think the beauty of creating a new, mystifying blog can cloud your judgment. You just automatically assume that it will all be good. Or at least I did…until it became real. And now I’m in the regret/am I thinking clearly stage. Should I just start a new blog altogether (the answer is: I actually thought up a brilliant other blog names during my workout on Tuesday morning/also when freakout set in, and sadly it was taken, so maybe that’s a sign to steer clear–but it was a really clever name!)?
No, seriously, help me out. Because come Monday, could mean the difference between going back to what I know and just laughing it off, or sticking this one through and never speaking of it again. (One thing that’s actually not working in favor of keeping this blog is how I failed to successfully transfer any pictures from my old posts. That’s annoying on a lot of levels.)
Maybe the ultimate advice should be to just stop blogging because clearly, I’m not one to follow the concept of picking something and sticking with it.
Until then, I really appreciate ALL the words you have to say. Make them harsh. Make them helpful. At this point, I’ll take anything I can get.
And I think this picture appropriately sums me up in a nutshell right now (both because of how my body hurts from working out and how my mind hurts from too much over-thinking).
Before I go, I just want to give a shout out to my sister- today is her 20th birthday! I wish I was at home to bake her a delicious cake and see her enter her twenties today :(. I hope you shine bright, Jaclyn! You are a determined and hardworking lady, and I’m so proud of you! xoxo